moody.

i am so fucking hungry. i feel like i've got some kind of problem where i constantly crave food. it's disgusting. lucky for me i'm usually too lethargic from being depressed to make regular trips to the supermarket- like right now. as a result i sit around fantasizing about food, debating whether to drag my sorry ass out of the house to fulfill my hunger pains. leaving the house and facing the world would require me to shower, get dressed, do my hair and paint my face on though, all of which i can't be fucked doing.

the upside of starving is the satisfaction i get from controlling myself and not downing a heap of fat-inducing shit. the downside is how moody being hungry makes me. anything and everything fucks me off. so when i'm like this, it's best for me to go to sleep. sleeping is probably my only saviour when i don't want to feel anything, particularly if i don't have access to alcohol or a similar mood-lifting substance.

in other news, T was supposed to come round last night. i stayed up waiting for him to arrive but he never did. i am 98% convinced that shit is going down behind my back. mother fucker.