alexandra valenti.

just some procrastination from uni assignments...i'm totally in awe/love with the work of artist/ photographer alexandra valenti. 

flowerchild.

so i bought this stunning flower crown from CJS a couple of months ago. these beauties are handmade by byron bay local charlotte julia stone. 

this photo was taken one warm afternoon whilst B and i were exploring a hidden, overgrown spot in my hometown. although it is impractical for everyday wear i'm still so in love with it.

make my heart sing.

karen walker 'the number one' sunglasses in crazy tortoise

willow silk 'basic cami' in dijon 

 

 

zoe karssen 'bat jersey'  

 

mac 'up the amp' lipstick

sass and bide 'room service' leather shorts

these are a few goodies i'm currently in the process of acquiring. yum.
autumn is without a doubt my most favourite season fashion wise, therefore i tend to invest more money into my wardrobe. i love the sort of weather that is cool enough to sport knits and ankle boots, but still warm enough to comfortably venture out with bare legs. i don't know about anyone else, but i also seem to have more skill at 'putting together' autumn/ winter outfits so feel happier with what i'm wearing the majority of the time.
one thing i'm going to try my hardest to avoid doing this coming season is impulse buying- i have a terrible habit of doing this, particularly when i'm feeling depressed. nine times out of ten my impulse purchases are worn once (sometimes not at all!) and are usually 'trend' pieces that i eventually get over. i recently culled my wardrobe and developed a list of items that i really need (and know i will wear to death) for the colder months so i plan to strictly adhere to said list.

feeling festive.

so christmas finally rolled round yesterday- i hope everyone had an awesome day! my day was spent with my mum's side of the family and the boy. we did all the usual things- exchanged presents, ate, drank and soaked up the sun whilst catching up. my mum's side is italian which means there is never any shortage of amazing food at our family gatherings which is both a pro and a con. anyone struggling with weight issues would understand why...

the real highlight for me though was christmas eve. for many years it's been a tradition in my home town for most people around my age to venture to the local pub. it's always a really great night because, like me, many young people move away to the city once they hit eighteen or so to attend uni, establish their own lives etc but christmas is the one occasion where everyone returns to the country and reunites.

for most of the year i've been living in isolation. i hardly go anywhere or see anyone except my immediate family, B, a couple of close friends and my 'recovery team' (ie. psychiatrist, psychologist + hormone specialist). a few months ago you would have been hard pressed to get me in a semi-public place like a cafe let alone a pub, club or bar. i've spent most of the year not only severely depressed and anxious, but ridiculously self-conscious about my appearance due to my hormonal issues (and ectopic pregnancy) wreaking havoc with my hair, skin, weight etc. by some miracle (or perhaps sheer christmas spirit) i managed to muster up enough confidence to go out on christmas eve with one of my closest friends, T and some other girls i used to hang out with- and i'm glad i did! it was so lovely seeing old friends and being social again, and many people commented that it was great to see me out and looking a bit brighter which was kind of them.

i really can't believe 2012 is drawing to an end, however i couldn't be more enthused to see the back end of such a horrible year. 

on that note, i'll leave you with some recent festive photos. 

1. the 'modern' christmas tree i made out of branches for my parent's house (prior to presents being placed underneath). 

2. a few of the goodies i received- still loving the shit out of my wang may i add!

3.  a rare selfie. 

4. my christmas eve outfit (although i replaced the sportsgirl sandals with a pair of black sportsgirl wedges at the last minute). 

5. a little bit drunk and a little bit blurry with my babe, T. 

6. cute chrissy kisses from B. 

wang.

 

 

today i received a very exciting surprise in the form of an alexander wang diego!

considering i've been lusting over this bag for ages now i thought acquiring one deserved its own post.

B has had to listen to me rave on about how perfect the diego is for months now so without me knowing he took advantage of shopbop's recent sale which included alexander wang and bought me my own baby with rose gold hardware.

technically it's my christmas present from him but knowing how over the moon i'd be when unwrapping the parcel he couldn't wait until the 25th, but i'm not fussed!

and might i add, the diego definitely did not disappoint- i can't stop staring at it, it's so stunning.

i know some people have been turned off by its weight, and i'll admit, it's probably the heaviest bag i've owned but i'm more than happy to overlook this minor downfall because i'm in love with the style and the rose gold is so pretty.

 

i'm definitely one happy girl right now!



loco.

musings of a modern gypsy.

 

this afternoon B and i decided to make the most of the pleasant weather and go for a walk a few blocks away from my parent's house. as we were strolling we passed a vacant paddock where a brightly painted caravan standing on its lonesome caught our attention. i had never seen such a unique caravan before and was immediately intrigued. i wondered if anyone was living in the vehicle or if it had been abandoned, however within seconds i came to the conclusion that it looked too pretty for anyone to discard and the odds and ends laying around haphazardly within a two metre radius of the van (a pair of shoes, a bucket and a chair) made it look occupied. i really wanted to take some photos but thought it would be rude to do so without permission first and i didn't want to get caught sneakily taking snaps, especially if someone called it 'home'. feeling daring i told B i was going to knock on the door and ask if i could take some photos- afterall the worst they could do was say no. he reluctantly followed (clearly not as enthralled by the spectacle as i ha). a minute or so after knocking an older looking woman wound down a window and greeted us. i apologised for bothering her and explained how beautiful i thought her caravan was. she informed me that she had hand painted it herself over a twelve year period and had travelled all over the world in it, re-locating every few months. after a few minutes of small talk she opened the door and invited us in to see her humble abode. upon entering, i was completely in awe of the magical gypsy chamber we had stepped inside. from wall to wall, floor to roof the van was overflowing with random artefacts and trinkets from various countries, dreamcatchers, windchimes, tapestries and mystical artworks etc. the floor had been painted in florals similar to the exterior and fake leaves had been glued in an intricate pattern across the ceiling and down one of the walls to appear like an ivy vine was growing indoors. i couldn't stop staring at everything, it was utterly mesmerizing! the woman introduced herself as W- a seventy four year old nomad, and although quite eccentric and a bit scattered she was nice enough and very interesting. she offered us both a cigarette and we sat down whilst she showed us photos and told us stories about her travels and life experiences. she had a tendency to go off on different tangents so it was a bit difficult to follow some of the conversation but nonetheless we ended up staying for three hours, or rather she talked non-stop for three hours and we didn't have the heart to interrupt her because she seemed to enjoy the company. among musings about spirituality, astrology, numerology, art and literature, she spoke about the importance of living in the moment rather than dwelling on the past or anticipating the future- funnily enough this sentiment echoed that of both my psychologist and psychiatrist, and really any mental health professional i've encountered that works from a mindfulness based framework.

 

by the time we departed i hadn't managed to take that many photos but you can kind of get a rough idea from the above images. not quite your average saturday afternoon but an inspiring one  nonetheless. i think i've fallen in love with the idea of being a free-spirited, modern day gypsy- at seventy four W was as vibrant as ever and full of life- her parting comment before we headed home "have fun kids...don't do anything i wouldn't do!"



i dream of you amid the flowers.

 

as i spend more time at my own place in the city i've been inspired to revamp my two bedroom apartment. while it's quite nice as is, it's become an almost ghostlike dwelling in my absence over the past twelve months. i'm a strong believer in one's environment influencing one's mood, therefore i want my home to reflect the present 'me' instead of being littered with depressing remnants of my pre-breakdown life. the truth is i still mourn for the life i previously had but i'm choosing to accept the events that have occured over these dark twelve months and try my best to look forward rather than back. these images encapsulate the ambiance i aim to achieve for my sanctuary- whimsical, enchanting and romantic whilst still being modern and fresh.

it's no secret that re-decorating can potentially cost a small fortune so where possible i plan to set myself 'diy projects'; in addition to being more affordable, i think there's something really lovely about having bits and pieces displayed around an apartment that your mind has envisioned and your hands have created.

 

wish me luck!



now the dust has settled.

to the beautiful ladies who left love and sympathy on my previous post i'd like to say a big, warm thank you for your heartfelt words. i am always pleasantly surprised by the continuous support of my followers and truly appreciate you all for allowing me to share my deepest thoughts and intimate details of my life free of judgement. you have no idea how much it means to me ♥

i spent much of last week in a codeine induced haze to ease the post-surgery pain. this period of rest also gave me the opportunity to properly digest the ectopic pregnancy and quietly mourn the loss of my baby. initially i was concerned that this traumatic event would significantly hinder the progress i had been making in recovering from my exhausting battle with depression and anxiety but thankfully i'm feeling a lot more emotionally stable this week after some TLC, visits from a handful of close friends and an appointment with both my psychiatrist and psychologist. over the weekend i was even feeling okay enough to venture into the city and purchase the sass and bide 'talara' sunglasses i had been wanting, then sunday night B surprised me with a pair of marc by marc jacobs rose gold turnlock studs and matching ring for being 'so brave and strong' the past week...and to apologise for being the guy that 'bust my tube'- ha! i guess there's kind of an amusing side to the sorry situation.

i'd take a photo of me wearing these babies but i'm looking too fugly for words right now- ugh! 

i love a good cat eye though, and the neon yellow on the sides is a bit of fun. 

gifts from B. i think it's safe to say that my collection of rose gold jewellery has been growing exponentially of late.

while i'm on the topic of new items, i'm loving these 'abbey' sandals from urge, but which colour to get- the fuchsia or leopard print?



birthday.

i turned twenty four last thursday.

most people view their birthday as a time of joy and celebration, however, with each year that passes i increasingly dread mine.

instead of accepting that growing older is an inevitable part of life, i tend to be consumed by anxiety that my youth is rapidly slipping away...and i'm not ready to let go.

fortunately i was able to push these worries aside for the majority of the day thanks to my family, a few close friends and a certain boy i've recently been hanging with making the occassion special for me. the weather was perfect so said boy took me on a picnic which involved lots of yummy food and smiles in the sun. i usually try and stick to a 'clean' diet as much as possible but that flew out the window and i indulged in a piece (or two) of nutella birthday cake decorated with an array of lollies which was all kinds of amazing!

another upside to 'getting old' was receiving some awesome gifts and being showered with love + well wishes via text message, facebook and instagram.

definitely reminded me that i am truly blessed with some beautiful people in my life- family, relatives, friends, internet friends etc ♥

i'm crossing my fingers that the next twelve months as a twenty four year old will be a year of good health, happiness and productivity...but to be honest i'll take any kind of improvement from age twenty three, being without a doubt the worst year i've experienced thus far.

1. house of harlow engraved skull necklace + multi toned skull bracelet.
2. birthday cake- so bad but so good!
3. picnic in the sun.

4. marc by marc jacobs rose gold blade watch.

5. beautiful bunch of flowers.
6. the awkward moment when you open a card and it's filled with fake money, haha.

x