this shit isn't meant to happen.

continuing my new years bender i had some friends over last night. S and J are my age, but they're married, and J brought along his mate B (who i'd never met before). S and J have been married for about 4 months and i've never had a problem with J, he's always seemed like a decent, faithful kind of guy and my girlfriend S is super stoked to be his wife. naturally i'm happy for them.

so we're sitting around at mine drinking, smoking, listening to music and talking shit. two trips to the bottle-o and a few pills later and we're well on our way to being fucked. feeling down and out about T being all distant and douche like of late i start sooking that he's probably off with skinny bitch (the other girl). for a few moments J and i are alone and he proceeds to tell me how gorgeous i am, not in a sleazy way though, in a gentle, sweet kind of manner i suppose. feeling a little awkward i brush it off and quickly change the subject.

fast forward a couple of hours. B and i are in my bed, he's spooning the shit out of me and i'm really not feeling it. at this point my stomach is turning something chronic and i'm wanting to either hurl or go to sleep. J and S are laying on a mattress on the floor together next to my bed- J is on the side closest to me. my hand is resting on the edge of my bed and my knee is sort of bent outwards. next thing i know i feel J's hand reach up and begin stroking my face..then he fumbles around in the darkness searching for my hand. he grabs it and brushes it lightly then intertwines his fingers with mine so we're holding hands. the whole scenario is reminiscent of being on a first date at the movies at age 15, except there's something really wrong about this- his wife, one of my closest friends in less than half a metre away. dazed and confused, i pull away. he gets the hint for a second then fumbles around again, this time in search of my inner thigh. he ever so gently strokes my bare skin while i have B behind me trying to get his freak on.

my stomach is doing summersaults, and not at all in a good way. i don't understand what's going on here and start missing T again. all at once i dash to the bathroom and vomit.

i dunno if J was making moves because he was fucked which led to him being temporarily delirious or what, but i'm not down for that shit, especially when my friend's marriage is at stake. as for B, well, i won't be seeing him again.

confusion.

new years eve was spent in the city jumping from one club to the next. drank a fuck load. ate a whole heap of crap i'm now regretting. didn't see the ex even though it was his birthday. got a phone call from the ex ex wanting to catch up (um?). woke up with an insane hangover. remember minimal.

yesterday arvo i hung with this guy friend..well he sat around and watched me get ready/ half cut. we banged a year ago, just a one off thing, he now has a girlfriend. subtle flirting occured and then in my drunken state i stupidly kissed the dude. when we slept together the ex and i were on a break..i feel like things could have evolved between us at the time, but i was so wrapped up in T still i didn't really persue it.

now i wonder why i didn't..this guy is a babe, has his shit together and is a genuinely decent person..but alas, i have a habit of missing the boat. fail.

i want you to take over control.

hot day, vodka, chupa chups, amazing people, tiesto, getting loose, zooper doopers, dancing, sunset, afrojack, after parties

=

stereosonic 2010.

just a sunday.

twelve am, vodka + apple juice, jive, dance, photos, friends, sweet messages, shit talking, sore feet, four am, kfc chips, messy hair, taxi, crawl into bed, sleeeeep, rise and shine, hangover, peppermint tea, undies + hoodie, bath, visits from the family, amazing pizza, laughs with riley, mango times two, afternoon nap, computer, vogue, fb, irritable mood, late night hangs, subway, reminiscing, tired, water, bed, content, sleep.

the festive season..

is here.

young, free and beautiful.

broken legs.

...well, not literally, but due to drunk and disorderly activity over the weekend they are covered in bruises and muscles ache something chronic. i guess you know you've had a loose night when you're swinging from the roof, dancing on a pool table and lose your shoes! in fact, most of my body aches, would love a full body massage right now..mmm.

recently bought a new stack of cat hammill bracelets. while i think they are a little over priced, i love her designs so much that i can justify forking out the dollars.

exams this week..eeep.

party, party.

i only recently remembered I made this account..it's been a while since i've posted.

i had a friend's 21st birthday a few weekends ago, the theme was L.M.C which meant you had to dress as something starting with one of those letters as they are the birthday girl's initials. i went as a cheerleader..it was a fun night actually, a TAB on the bar meant too many champagnes for me and I was quite drunky by the end of the night! i thought I would post some pics as everyone scrubbed up well.

my costume is from bras & things

shoes were on sale at zu- i just love the colour.