thanks for nothing, yet again.

feeling flat today and generally disgruntled. i don't know what to do with myself when i get like this apart from sleep and wait until it passes.

i've made a decision to plough out the toxic people in my life, because more often than not i'm left wondering why i'm associated with people who tend to bring me down or constantly disappoint. it's usually him, despite the fact we aren't together anymore..i'm convinced he tries to keep me as a back up plan by lingering around, and then when i start to feel as though i may be able to rely on him a little, may be able to let my guard down again, he leaves. it's an emotional drain, similar to the past 18 months of him being in my life. i'm fed up with feeling like i'm good enough one day and not the next. i'm tired of making excuses for his lies and shit behaviour, behaviour that i've had to learn to accept. i've said it so many times before, but i think it's time to make a clean break, no going back...it may be the only way i'll be able to truly move on and find myself again, because right now i'm taking one step forward and two steps back.

On the subject of toxicity, i think it would be best for me to drift away from certain 'friends' who time after time prove their worth as self-absorbed, using, two-faced individuals.

i'm hoping the saying "when one door closes, another one opens" will ring true in my situation, otherwise i may find myself a very lonely girl.