i've decided i don't want to be on anti-depressants anymore. i've been dwelling on this thought for several days now, weighing up the pros and the cons of being on meds. those around me who i've mentioned the idea to think i'm completely crazy of course, particularly my mother who made statements such as "i don't think you're ready to come off them". my question is, exactly when and how do you know if you're ready to come off meds, especially if you are a long time sufferer of depression? i mean i know with or without them i will always still have 'down days', it's just the nature of the beast. i don't want to take meds forever, that wasn't the idea when i initially started taking them..they were supposed to help me rise from a very dark place, which i think they have succeeded at to a degree.
i guess i don't like the thought of having to rely on a drug to enable me to function on an everyday basis, and i think this is what it's coming to. about a month ago i ran out of pills and for whatever reason wasn't able to get to a chemist to put in another prescription so went three or so days without and started experiencing the awful withdrawals. chronic nausea, aggitation, dizziness and the feeling that my brain was shaking inside my skull.
i have an appointment with my doctor on tuesday to discuss this matter. i think i need to do this for myself, regardless of what others think. i don't want chemicals to rule my body anymore, but on the flip side i'm hoping i won't slip back into major depression without them.
hi, long time lurker of your blog here :)
ReplyDeletejust remember that chemicals always will rule your body, whether they are the ones helping you to have a stable normal mood, or the ones which make you feel poopy. it can't be really hard when you're on meds and starting to feel better, it can seem like they're holding you back. definitely listen to your doctor, they've seen 1,000s of people in the same situation. all the best!
I agree with Holly, make sure you listen to the doc and if you do go off them taper off them slowly! Hope it works out for you xx
ReplyDeleteI've been reading your blog for a while, never commented before but when I read this, I wanted to comment immediately (and give you a hug and send out a cup of tea, but I digress!)
ReplyDeleteMy husband suffered with terrible depression in 2008 - we had to fly back to Australia for treatment because the NHS was so horrible about it and didn't do anything except heap on the anti-depressants. It's 2010 and he's still on the tablets, and as he says, there is no shame in taking a tablet once a day if it's making you feel like a much better person on the inside and more importantly helping you feel happier.
He wants to stop taking tablets and when he did, he had the same side affects that you did. He's slowly lowering his dosage now after speaking to the Doctor, so it can be done.
I wish you all the best *hugs*
thanks so much for the support, it's comforting to hear and very sweet <3
ReplyDeletejade i hope things are going well for your husband as he decreases his doseage.
nostalgia, I know exactly how you feel about how do you know when you're ready to come off them? It's so easy - and common - to fall into the trap of feeling better so thinking you don't need them, when in fact the reason you feel better is because they're working. So you can crash again when you stop taking them. I've done this a number of times and it's taken a while to learn that lesson :)
ReplyDeleteI'm currently coming off mine and would be happy to share what I know if you like :)
All the best!
Kiki
kiki chaos, there are actually several things i would like to ask if you don't mind. i went to my doctor today and we decided that i would gradually wean off my meds and monitor how things go. something which i have been concerned about (without sounding too superficial) is the weight i've gained since being on zoloft. i'm 167cms in height and have always been a small person..at the peak of my depressive episode late last year my weight dropped to 53kgs. in the last 6 months i've put on 7kgs which is depressing in itself. i don't know whether this weight gain is due to the anti-depressants making me feel happier and more stable therefore i am eating better etc OR whether zoloft has made me gain weight. if it's likely to be the latter, i am wondering will the extra weight be easy to lose once i am totally off the meds or like any weight gain will it be hard to shift? i'm wanting to get down to 55kgs which is the weight i originally was before becoming severely depressed. sorry for the long winded question!
ReplyDeletei'm a bit worried i will crash and burn again without the meds but i guess time will tell..xx
^me again.
ReplyDeletemaybe speak to the doctor about your weight concerns, other tablets may be as effective for your mood but won't make you gain any additional weight.
i'm not sure if you already exercise. but if you did a bit of fun exercise a few times per week(pilates, yoga, pole dancing, zumba?) it would help your mood and tone up your bod.
nostalgia, it's not at all superficial to be concerned about weight gain on meds. In my experience, meds make you happier in one area of your life (depression) and miserable in another (your weight). Your Dr is absolutely right about weaning yourself off, slowly and over a few months. You definitely can't rush it, unfortunately. Cold turkey is going to send you rocketing all over the place and you'll end up back on them again (is that what happened, hon?) I've been on zoloft, effexor and pristiq (currently) and put on weight on all of them, with pristiq being the worst. Funnily enough, zoloft was the best for me. Best thing, though, is yes, you will be able to shift the weight when you come off them :) It might take a couple of months, but you will pretty quickly start seeing your 'normal' body shape starting to emerge again once you're off them. If you have any questions at all, feel totally free to email me at kiki at kikichaos.com. I have years of experience with this stuff!
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